I’m not going to lie, the past couple of months (the last month particularly) have been tough. This health blip has been worse and lasted far longer than I ever imagined. I thought I’d healed sufficiently for this not to happen to me again, that this was all behind me. A hazy, distant memory. But here I am feeling like I’ve gone right back to how things were when I started The Pollyanna Plan over 2 and a half years ago. Only I know that isn’t really true…not true at all.
I’ve been throwing everything I can think of at this – medication, supplements, healthy, nourishing food, positive thinking, gratitude. I’ve been keeping happy and optimistic, but I’m not healing nearly as quickly as I think I should be. I’ve been desperately looking for the solution, the one thing I’m missing, the key that will put me back onto the path of wellness and vitality. But today I’ve realised that all this struggle, all this pushing against, all this trying to figure it all out, is exhausting in itself and it really isn’t helping me at all.
You see, that’s what I do. I’m so determined to do my very best at everything that I forget to be kind and gentle with myself. To just relax and trust that my body knows exactly what it needs to do to in order to heal and get well again. I really hate (and I try not to use that word EVER) being confined to the house, not being able to get on with living my life, feeling isolated and not having any energy to do anything. Doing nothing is not really in my nature, which is ironic as this is often what I’m forced to do through chronic illness.
So today I’ve come to the realisation that I really need to listen to my body and honour what it needs. If it needs me to chill the hell out, to stop trying to fix everything and rest up, then that’s what I’m going to do. I’ve often read that when we surrender to an unwanted situation or circumstance in life, when we make peace with it, then that is the moment when healing truly begins. I’ve never been able to figure out how to do that, but maybe letting go of trying to figure everything out is a pretty good place to start.
And right after I reached that conclusion, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and came across a post by the amazing and truly inspirational Erika from @thedailyfighter. She had made a Dubsmash video (Dubsmash is an app where you can record a video of yourself miming to a song or a film/TV scene with audio from the original version). Anyway…where was I, oh yes, wonderful Erika and the Dubsmash video she made in hospital (whilst seriously ill) of her miming to Fight Song by Rachel Platten.
I’d never heard the song before and as soon as I listened to the lyrics I knew that, just when I needed it the most, Erika had led me to my theme tune for the rest of the year. (I’ll put a link to the song in the comments section below). It seems to me that sometimes the Universe sends us a sign at the perfect time to let us know that we are on the right track and that we are doing just great. This was my sign. (Huge big thanks to Rachel Platten and especially to Erika. Be well) ❤
© N. Lamy – The Pollyanna Plan – 2015- All Rights Reserved.