Sometimes in life stuff doesn’t turn out the way you had hoped. Plans fall through, or go spectacularly wrong, you don’t get the job/house/guy/girl/dream you wanted. And let’s face it, people let you down. It doesn’t feel good, it often isn’t pretty, but it happens.
Since my health has started to improve (I’m still so thankful), I’ve been getting out into the world again and experiencing “real life”, along with its blips and disappointments. And I’m the first to admit that I have been kind of floored by them and my usual Pollyanna-ish, rose tinted outlook on life has taken a hit.
But, you know what? I’m actually really grateful for these experiences – Ha! Pollyanna is back 🙂 – because although it hasn’t been all that much fun, or any fun at all, I’ve learnt a hell of a lot.
And as I’m finding my balance again and feeling much more like my usual happy, positive self, I wanted to share this with you, in case you ever need to find your way back to your happy space again too.
So, here is The Pollyanna Plan’s 5 Step Process For Dealing With Life’s Little Blips:
1. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, even if, like me, you’d rather be feeling something a little more positive and smiley. Accept that it’s ok to feel sad/down/disappointed/angry/betrayed/ashamed/annoyed/or any other crappy feeling. Cry or shout if you need to. We are human, we feel stuff and it’s ok to let it out. Just don’t wallow in it.
So, onto step 2….
2. Let it go. Three deceptively short, simple words. But oh, it is so much easier said than done. Believe me, I know! “How do you let it go?” I hear you ask. Well, I wish I had a magic formula, but unfortunately I’ve yet to come up with that – you’ll be the first to know if I do. I think the first step is to be WILLING to let it go, to not let it weigh you down any longer, to free yourself. If/when you catch yourself thinking about whatever is troubling you, say to yourself “I am willing to let this go”, look into the mirror and say it. Keep repeating this. Letting go is a process, it’s the same as forgiveness, it happens little by little, until one day it just isn’t there anymore and you’re not quite sure how you did it. Don’t try too hard or struggle, just be open to it.
3. Know that there is a hidden blessing for you in this somewhere, even if it’s really, really hidden and there’s no way you can see it right now. Maybe there’s a valuable lesson you can learn from this or maybe something truly, awesomely life changingly brilliant will come of it. Trust me, it’s there and one day you will look back and feel thankful.
4. Minimise your sadness. Do whatever it takes to remove reminders that keep you stuck in a bad feeling – say no to stuff you don’t want to do, take a break from anything that reminds you of it, delete, walk away, give it up, even if it’s not always the most mature/spiritual/better person thing to do. I confess to having un-friended people on Facebook. I’m not proud of it, I didn’t do it out of anger or spite. I did it to minimise sadness and that’s ok. (Please note that minimising sadness is not to be confused with intentionally hurting people or being mean!)
5. Maximise your happiness. Now, here comes the fun part: Be kind to yourself. Ask yourself “what would I like to do today that will bring me joy?’ Play some happy music, do your own flavour of happy dance, pet your dog, call your best friend, go for a walk, meditate, breathe in the sea air, run, laugh, watch a funny movie, eat something delicious, skip out into the sunshine and find your happy space again.
You can do this, I promise you.
© N. Lamy – The Pollyanna Plan – 2014- All Rights Reserved.