Becoming A Butterfly – Day 316 of The Pollyanna Plan

Something amazing occurred to me today. Something I’d never in a million years have thought I’d feel, let alone say out loud (or write in a blog post!)

And that is that I’m actually really very grateful to my illness.

You see, if my health hadn’t deteriorated, I’d still be living the life I was living – a life that seemed ok at the time, but not one that I truly loved or that brought me any real fulfilment.

I’d most likely still be trying to forge a career in marketing, even though it wasn’t anything I was passionate about and honestly, I’m so not suited to marketing! And I’d probably be stuck in a relationship that wasn’t right for me, as I used to be scared of ending up alone when all my friends were “settling down”. If you’d asked me then if I was happy with my life, I’d have answered yes, but I always felt like something was missing.

I used to think that the missing piece was something I needed to find, do or have, but I could never put my finger on it and I spent many hours agonising over it.

And now I know…

The missing piece was something I needed to BE, not find, do or have!

I needed to BE  happy and  truly grateful for my life, with all it’s ups and downs. I needed to follow my bliss and choose to do things that bring me joy. And I definitely needed to pay attention to my intuition and gut feelings, which I had ignored for many years. I just needed to BE myself.

So, even though these years of illness haven’t exactly been much fun, they have led me to such a fundamental realisation that I can’t help but feel grateful for.

I mean, if it wasn’t for my illness, I wouldn’t have been inspired to start The Pollyanna Plan and, in doing so, I’ve found the real me through this journey. I can honestly, truly say that I’ve never been happier than I am right now! 😀

Day 316, Reason 316: Today I am so very grateful to my illness for giving the real me the opportunity to emerge.

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”



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49 days to go of The Pollyanna Plan

49 reasons to feel glad/happy/joyful to find….not long now!! 🙂

11 thoughts on “Becoming A Butterfly – Day 316 of The Pollyanna Plan

  1. I can draw parallels with this – I wouldn’t wish the past few years of illness on anybody, but from it I discovered my lost self. In a world of darkness I escaped into books – not the 1st time words have saved me in my life…. then the energy to pick up a pen and let go of some of the head filling demons onto the page, and a long while later a shift at work and then a shift of work, relocation and cohabitation plans that had always been jilted moved smoothly into place and I had the confirmation that Mr G loves me better than any other man ever has, because he stayed beside me and is still here today, celebrating my return. The road is still a long one and it will be a while longer before I am complete. But inside I am me again – a forgotten spirit left for dead, it was no wonder I was dying from outside in, the inside had been an empty chasm for a long while.
    Through all the pain and darkness, I rediscovered a part of myself I had left behind. The poet, the artistic creator, the writer, through this year’s journey I have discovered an overwhelming strength in a world still devoid of much energy.
    I no longer have to pull myself to the water’s edge… I am already there… splashing about and healing!

    1. I’m so very pleased for you! You’ve been on a remarkable journey this year. And I’m so glad you rediscovered the writer in you, as now you can share your gift with the world. You really do write beautifully. 🙂 xx

  2. This is just beautiful. While I don’t have any words as lovely as yours, this whole blog and this post in particular is one that is so exquisitely uplifting, calming, refreshing. And it makes me feel at peace on the inside and out. Ahh, you are a wonderful inspiration! xx

  3. That’s awesome!! There are so many times that I think something bad and horrible has happened, but once I’m past the initial event that was upsetting, I can look back and see how that “bad” thing really was for my good. 🙂

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